Saturday, November 20

Raising a powerful crew

I stumbled across this interesting article about how we teach our young women about sexuality. Written by an LDS mother, writer, editor - Kathryn Soper on Why Standards Night is Substandard.

The following excerpts have me evaluating how I parent my little ones. Not strictly in how we will teach our values relating to sexuality to them, but even grander - how to raise bright, caring, secure, good, happy future men and women, wives and husbands, mothers and fathers.

Soper quotes President Ezra Taft Benson:

I recognize that most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, and fulfillment.

. . . and then in a conversation the author had with a troubled neighbor about her daughter . . .

"Would you say Amy has power in her life?"

I tried to explain. "What I mean is, does Amy sense that she's in control of her own life? That she has the right and the ability and the opportunity to get what she wants and what she needs?"

How foundational that is, to guide and empower our children! And yet we guide them by helping them set age/stage appropriate boundaries. I am so very grateful for my own parents in this regard. I was their first and we learned together from each of our own perspectives. It wasn't all roses, it never is and isn't supposed to be. But ultimately, I left home to embark on my journey through life feeling like I could do anything I set my mind to if I worked at it and sought the Lord's guidance. I could and still do lean on my parents' strength and wisdom but also had room to make my own decisions, mistakes and learn from them.

On another, not unrelated note -- Easton has a girlfriend. One of his buddies has a younger sister in Kindergarten at the school. She was also on McKay's soccer team so we saw quite a bit of her this fall between school and soccer. She has a huge crush on Easton and even wrote him a love note this week. Easton's circle of friends includes boys and girls and they love chasing games. When asked last week if he had "hearts in his eyes" for her, he was quick to say no. She's a friend. He's a very affectionate kid and boundaries relating to affection haven't yet computed for him.

Yesterday when I picked him up from school, she was at his elbow as soon as she could be, like most days. They were chattering/playing in the crowded hallway when I saw Easton give her a kiss! They weren't sneaky, just having fun in the middle of chaos. A couple other moms saw this too and we were all equally caught off guard and just smirked. Before we were in the van, I saw him kiss her two more times! So cute and innocent, but we obviously need to set some boundaries! Sheesh! He was talking about when they get big and get married. I asked if she was his girlfriend and he didn't know how to answer. "What's a girlfriend?!" I could practically hear him thinking that one over!

Ryan and I both had conversations with him throughout the evening to ascertain the nature of their friendship. It's an odd thing to navigate with an almost 7 year old! I'm sure that at whatever age you begin discussing appropriate behavior between girls and boys, it's a doozy! And just the beginning of many conversations!

But now I must go dissuade Morgan from potty training her baby doll in the actual toilet. Will she stop growing up already?!