FHE - President Eyring's "To my grandchildren"

I didn't feel as prepared going into this FHE as I have the previous weeks and was tempted to bail. What I need to do is start delegating these lessons on a regular FHE responsibilities rotation but I have yet to actually finish making and use one of those handy charts. I have crafting fear, it's totally dumb. 

It wasn't a whiz bang FHE, but it happened! And sometimes consistency, simply having the Spirit present, and their participation is what matters most. A bit of last minute inspiration due to earlier study totally paid off too! 

You see, I was pretty worn out because it was Monday. And the kids had all been home all day. I needed some serious comfort food so I slaved away on a home made chicken pot pie for dinner. This recipe only happens maybe twice a year for me but oh how we love it! It's Ryan's mom's and it's totally Delish. All the kids thought so too, yet Jake threw his tantrum not two minutes after this picture. Full plate and cup of milk swiped off the table across the floor. Awesome. To his room he went while I finished enjoying my homely creation while McKay praised me up and down for the pot pie and for not losing my temper (sadly, me losing it is rather routine at dinner). Love that kid!

So back to our FHE. We watched the first few minutes of President Eyring's talk together until he finishes sharing the scriptures in Matthew 25. I'd asked them to listen for:

"There is one overarching commandment that will help us to meet the challenges and lead to the heart of a happy family life . . . 

We watched it and discussed what this means.

“Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,“Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
“This is the first and great commandment.
“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”¹

But the kids were as pot pied as I was, so we needed a kick. And this was my last minute inspiration: We used the Friend magazine! YAHOO! I love how being in the Primary presidency has made me aware of the monthly themes and the past two months' themes fit President Eyring's talk perfectly! 

And we closed with . . . 

"Life in families will test us. That is one of God's purposes in giving us the gift of mortality - to strengthen us by passing through tests."

True. True. True. I had lots of other favorite parts to the talk like this one  . . .

"We cannot force that on others [a remembrance of their tutelage in the pre mortal existence of the plan of happiness], but we can let them see it in our lives."


But for me, a wonderful blessing of my study of this talk came yesterday. It's been a pretty calm week here at home with me trying pretty hard to let the kids be kids, but also to not let contentions escalate without me stepping in to mediate. Boy is that hard sometimes - especially since daylight savings has not meant kids sleeping in and Jake has been up between 3:30-5:30 each day!!! Argh.

But like I was saying, a great moment happened when I had a call from a new friend who is struggling in that nasty Bermuda Triangle of transition we call moving here, their first overseas assignment which came quickly and unexpectedly. One of her children is really struggling. Have you ever felt that loss of hope for the end of a struggle? I was there this summer and I remember that dark place through a few of my life's rough transitions. And I felt prompted to share a couple parts of this talk with her and we cried together. 

". . . God has devised means to save each of His children. For many, that involves being placed with a brother or a sister or a grandparent who loves them no matter what they do.

Years ago a friend of mine spoke of his grandmother. She had lived a full life, always faithful to the Lord and to His Church. Yet one of her grandsons chose a life of crime. He was finally sentenced to prison. My friend recalled that his grandmother, as she drove along a highway to visit her grandson in prison, had tears in her eyes as she prayed with anguish, “I’ve tried to live a good life. Why, why do I have this tragedy of a grandson who seems to have destroyed his life?” 

The answer came to her mind in these words: “I gave him to you because I knew you could and would love him no matter what he did.”

And then . . .

President George Q. Cannon said this about how God has prepared you and me and our children for the tests we will face: “There is not one of us but what God’s love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed. There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save. There is not one of us that He has not given His angels charge concerning. We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are the children of God, and that He has actually given His angels—invisible beings of power and might—charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping.”²

What President Cannon taught is true. You will need that assurance, as I have needed it and depended on it.

So there are people we are put here to save with our love and who are put in our lives to save us with their love. And then there's also "His angels - invisible beings of power and might." I take great comfort in this and have felt both to be true in my life. It's pretty darn awesome!

If you've read anything of Brené Brown, you'll know that feeling this sort of connection with someone like I had with my friend is pretty much what life is all about. Of course, our prophets and apostles have been saying it all along, quoting the Master, but lately I've loved a fresh vocabulary found in her work that reaffirms truths of the gospel to me! Just to be real though, I've been so enmeshed in my busy little home life this week that each time this friend has called, I've not been the most empathetic patient good listener and I found myself messaging her to apologize often asking her to not give up on me for my fumbling efforts to not be such a hermit. Seriously, sometimes this stay-at-home motherhood thing zaps me of my social skills and ability to speak intelligibly. It's not awesome.

My kids are on Fall Break from their school this week. Germans take off and travel or visit family but Ryan's on the US holiday schedule so he's working. And I'm pretty proud of him. He's got a lot going right now, doing presentations of his team's work to generals and their staff which has been well received. So much so, in fact, that his gov't liaison sent an email praising him to Ryan's bosses up the chain. I really appreciate leaders who take the time to give credit for a job well done!

As for me and the kids on the home front, we didn't plan anything special but we've had something every night which is unusual, and draining, for us happy homebodies. On Tuesday, our Home Teachers came. I think this is probably the third time in the five years we've had someone come so the kids were intrigued, wondering what a home teacher was and why they were coming. We had a nice visit getting to know our newly assigned ones. Wednesday we invited some good friends, the Rays, for dinner as they are in a hotel until they move back to the US on Saturday. Waaah! Their daughter and our kids got to each share their research unit project speeches with us which was fun. Topics: Migrations - pioneer ancestors; The stories about us - George Washington; and Creepy Crawlies - daddy long legs. Tonight was trick or treating, tomorrow night is a ward CARnival trunk or treating and chili cook off, and Saturday is the Relief Society Super Saturday with Thai and Mexican cooking, photography, crocheting, bunting sewing, and a few others. See, I'm so glad we've laid low during the day getting chores done and alternating technology and play days as most of us battle annoying colds.

I've finally decided how I would display the nuggets from these FHEs. It's mostly for me, but the kids do sit at this desk now and then for homework so maybe they'll glance at it! 

FHE - Shall I falter or shall I finish?

I believe God speaks to us personally and also through his servants, prophets and apostles. I love General Conference and I greatly anticipated this one with a handful of questions and concerns. 

I’ve been inspired by the bloggers listed at the end of this post because of the ways they prepare their families for General Conference. They really study and use the messages to teach their young families. I want the kids to feel like the messages are relevant, to understand these leaders' role to instruct us by revelation as they study and live the gospel, but also to be able to recognize our leaders by face and voice. And not just from this funny video we have really enjoyed - have you seen it?! 

As I absorbed sessions as they came available last week, I decided on a plan. For Family Home Evening each Monday, we will discuss a talk going in order of their calling beginning with the Prophet, President Monson. I’m still trying to decide how to visually display this in our home as an ongoing learning effort. German walls are just tricky!

To start, I listened to President Monson’s talk “I will not failthee, nor forsake thee.” I loved this message! Then I read it and the scriptures he referenced which were very illuminating. I then prayerfully made all if it into a lesson plan. It is a very simple lesson but it went well I think.

The key, in my opinion, is that this lesson would be utilized in teaching moments throughout the week so I can apply and reinforce the principles "in real life." 

Lesson Plan:

When you run a race, you’re excited right? 

What do you do if you fall while running during the race? 

Do you give up and throw a tantrum or do you pick yourself up and finish the race?

Kids said, “Finish the race!”

Tonight we’ll talk about President Monson’s talk from General Conference. He asked, “Shall I falter (fall and quit), or shall I finish?” Did you know that President Monson’s wife passed away a few months ago? They had been married almost 65 years! Do you think he misses his best friend, his wife a lot? Do you think it is hard for him to face each day without her there? President Monson knows that we all have to face hard things each day – but that with God, we can finish and not falter.

President Monson spoke about Job in the Old Testament. Let’s watch his story and see how he finished without faltering. Watched OldTestament Scripture Stories – Chapter 46: Job.

• Did Job falter or finish?
• How did he find strength to finish when faced with losing so much? And suffering with sickness? And having his friends judge him instead of help him?
• How can we be like Job when trials come? Let’s listen to what President Monson wants us to know.

Watch last three paragraphs of talk starting at 15:25-18:00 “Only the Master knows . . .” Direct them to listen for two things President Monson says will help us be close to our Heavenly Father like Job was.

After the video, reiterate the promise we've been given that the Lord will not fail us, nor forsake us. We, in turn, should try our hardest to not fail Him, or forsake Him. We must ever strive to be close to our Heavenly Father by praying to Him and listening to Him every day. We talked about when we can pray, how we can pray, how we can listen. 

This week has already provided a couple teaching moments.

Easton has a job. He walks our friend’s dogs twice a week. His accumulated earnings combined with McKay and Morgan’s helped them buy a used ipad mini this weekend which Ryan found listed on the local yardsale site for a steal.

On Tuesday, Easton was quickly overwhelmed by everything we chatted about on his to do list as we drove home from school. It was raining hard and he usually walks the dogs right when he gets home to have it done with. Then guitar practice, homework, prepare his student council election speech, and even Scouts at the church. He pleaded to skip out on the dogs. When I reminded him of the commitment he made and asked if he was faltering or finishing strong, he growled that that lesson only applied to homework! Sorry kiddo. He grumbled a bit, but then I was very proud as he humbled himself and headed out into the downpour to walk the dogs. Sitting Easton down later and thanking him for being good example of this principle was one of those perks of parenthood and I loved seeing him beam from my praise.

We actually skipped Scouts so he could work with Ryan on his speech after we celebrated Morgan’s birthday with dinner, cake, and presents. It was so fun to hear Ryan and Easton brainstorming on the speech, practicing it, and then sharing it with the rest of us! I’m sure that qualifies for a merit badge qualification!

Easton faced Wednesday’s election feeling confident. McKay had won his class’s seat on the student council last week. There was no way to know how many students would run in Easton’s class and I was nervous for him. He’s the one I had to talk into running because while he wanted to be a part of the council, he wasn’t thrilled at first with the idea of doing a poster and speech asking for his classmates to vote for him. I wish I would have faced that fear as a youth and run for student councils. I know I would have enjoyed it. Easton was cool as a cucumber on Wednesday morning. He liked his poster and was happy with his speech. As long as he feels prepared, Easton is confident.

When I picked the kids up yesterday, Easton was happy. He hadn’t won but was the alternate. He was pleased with how his speech had gone and wondered what was for lunch. I let him know I’d prayed for him that morning that he’d be happy with his performance no matter the outcome. I loved getting to love on him and praise him for his effort! I recently attended a lecture where the speaker told parents how we need to help our children learn to "fail well" and be resilient, engaged learners and workers. I really liked that concept.

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I'm so grateful for the guidance it has provided me all my life so that I had the self confidence to avoid things that would not help me become who I want to be. I am so grateful for the resources the church provides as I raise my family and for the opportunities to serve others and be a part of a worldwide community of people striving for eternal attributes and relationships.

Here's the blog roll I seem to frequent the most for ideas:

Jocelyn Christensen - We talk of Christ, We rejoice in Christ

Allison Kimball – Simple Inspiration

Stephanie Dibb Sorensen - Diapers and Divinity

Shannon - Red Headed Hostess

Complementary, Not Competition

complementary: describes an addition that produces completeness or perfection in something

One of my favorite talks from this month's General Conference was Elder Christofferson's address in the semi-annual Priesthood meeting for men.

"Brethren, much has been said and written in recent years about the challenges of men and boys. A sampling of book titles, for example, includes Why There Are No Good Men Left,The Demise of Guys,The End of Men, Why Boys Fail, and Manning Up. Interestingly, most of these seem to have been written by women. In any case, a common thread running through these analyses is that in many societies today men and boys get conflicting and demeaning signals about their roles and value in society."

"The author of Manning Up characterized it this way: “It’s been an almost universal rule of civilization that whereas girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess, or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors of women and children; this was always their primary social role. Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete and even a little embarrassing.”¹

"In their zeal to promote opportunity for women, something we applaud, there are those who denigrate men and their contributions. They seem to think of life as a competition between male and female—that one must dominate the other, and now it’s the women’s turn. Some argue that a career is everything and marriage and children should be entirely optional—therefore, why do we need men?² In too many Hollywood films, TV and cable shows, and even commercials, men are portrayed as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This cultural emasculation of males is having a damaging effect.

". . . Brethren, it cannot be this way with us. As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home. We cannot afford to have those who exercise the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God, waste their strength in pornography or spend their lives in cyberspace (ironically being of the world, while not being in the world).

"Brethren, we have work to do."

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this call to duty and can't get it out of my head! But I don't feel like it was just to the men of the church. I felt I needed to live up to this as well in my support! 

I am raising three sons so far. I am raising a daughter that I hope will find a worthy young man to marry some day. I can be a more loyal wife, supporting my wonderful husband as he strives to answer this call. I can support the men and boys of my family and community. There is just as much we women can and should do!

My favorite class at BYU was The International Political Economy of Women and I'm pretty sure I've written about it here before. We examined the hardest things life has thrown at women - unrighteous patriarchy; armed conflict; slavery; women and the priesthood; lack of access to life, health care, property, education, and so forth. We looked at the politics of breast feeding - fascinating! I saw raw emotion from my classmates as we sought to understand hard things they've felt and witnessed. I just found the syllabi online and it speaks for itself. 

The International Political Economy of Women - Political Science 472

Objectives

• To understand the roles women play in world society as producers, reproducers, agents of cultural continuity and change, and to render women "visible" in international and national affairs.
  
• To explore in greater depth women's choices about education, family, and work in the developing world.
  
• To investigate transnational issues directly concerning women's lives, and the objectification and subordination of women that often results.
  
• To discuss the dynamics of change in women's lives and in their societies, including the dynamics of religious beliefs, and to learn about programs for change that already exist. 
  
  
  This course required the most varied reading and study of any I have ever taken, but as my roommates can attest, I loved every minute of it! I felt so empowered by this class and how to move past feeling embittered by issues I found unfair and confusing. I learned how to see hard issues through the lense of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Coming to understand things in this way has given me peace as a woman of faith, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I hope we can all support the goodness and righteous aspirations of our men and boys without feeling threatened or envious. 
  
  
  Men and women aren't in competition, we are complementary: two halves that with the Lord's help can make a perfect whole. They need us as much as we need them! And the world needs us standing together now more than ever!