At dinner tonight, Easton reported he was sad about school today because no one would play with him at first break. They were playing other things he didn't want to like basketball or cracking rocks. Cracking rocks?! Their school moved into a new building last spring and is still raising funds for playground equipment. They've got wood chips down, a ping pong table, basketball hoop, and big cement slab that the classes get to rotate playing hockey on. He's tired of playing BeyBlades all the time now. But cracking rocks? There's not much to do and honestly, cracking rocks is just something kids do and have been doing since Adam and Eve I think! But the way this came out, it had Ryan and I laughing through dinner because McKay piped in that if they wanted to crack rocks they had to wear gloves and swim goggles because one kid smashed his finger and the nail fell off. And this is the story that saved my evening, lifting the stony embattled face I wore. I'd been ready to call it a night.
I like to think that Mondays are a bright start to a great week of being a good wife, mother and homemaker. By noon I'm weary with efforts on all fronts and feeling pulled in every direction, struggling to stay focused and productive. Jake's been sick all weekend and just wants to be held all day long. Morgan's bored and wants a snack or a movie or a game of hide and seek -- all at the same time and descends into a whining screeching heap when I can't meet one or any of her requests. I should start another load of laundry, read my scriptures for today, find that picture for McKay's class, call the plumber again, schedule the van for that repair work on the door and get new break pads, prepare that stack of boxes to be mailed tomorrow, did I remember to put vinegar on the grocery list, track down the hausmeister's info to order another house key since we're down to the last one . . . did I start the dishwasher and defrosting meat for dinner yet? I'm starving, have I eaten yet today? Before long it was time to pick up the boys and put dinner and FHE in motion.
Otherwise known on a daily basis around here as the bewitching hour. Teasing, shrieking, balloons exploding, eggs cracking, visual aid coloring, lesson reading and weeping, trampoline jumping, piggy back riding, ball kicking (inside?!), dinner over boiling, water overflowing, baby wailing, doors slamming, time out giving . . . and FHE tonight is about not following Satan's wish for us to fight and quarrel. But I had listened to a great BYU Women's Conference talk here on forgiveness that was the inspiration for today. Who needed this FHE most? ME!
"And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness." Mosiah 4:14
One of the examples given in that talk was about Nephi being tied up by his older brothers, left to be eaten by wild beasts until their hearts were softened by Ishmael's daughter, wife, and son. I could spend a lifetime just learning from the book of Nephi! So Nephi forgives his humbled brothers "frankly", easy-peasy end of story. Put that one on the "becoming" list too.
Life's not necessarily busy these days, just full. I've had a couple friends recently tell me to give them a call to hang out when bored. I remember bored but can't remember when I felt it last. I keenly remember feeling bored often when it was just Easton and me at home and how I was dying for any chance to get out of the house and do stuff with friends. Now I love days when I don't have to leave the house. (Until I can escape alone.) I feel like I'm running a full court press with no subs to relieve me. But the weightier thoughts settle on my family's spiritual welfare. Am I doing enough with the time I'm given? The evening shift is the hardest for sure because we're all spent!
All day my scrambled thoughts kept coming back to how I'm the one setting the tone and falling short in our home. It is so frustrating to me that I can feel Satan working on me and winning. Today he and I were doing battle minute by minute and he seemed to win more often than I did when it really counted. I hope I get bonus points for surviving and resolving to fight another day? Game on!