Wednesday, September 1


It just hit me. Today I was the mom I want to be.

I'll have to do a first day of school post another time when I've got the obligatory pictures. I'm excited for them, but not excited enough to walk out to Ryan's car to find the camera, upload, sort, write and post on that event now.

So what made today so wonderful?
  • Kids were on time for school with healthy food in their tummies and good sack lunches. And Easton had his schultuete and I was so excited for him! That's a German tradition I may decide to keep although next time I won't listen to the parent handbook and I'll load it with treats!
  • Morgan got cute pigtails with bows today and was adored by most everyone who saw her. I know I got a kick out of watching her all dolled up, but I hadn’t expected to cause grins on others’ faces too. What a treat!

  • After early release, we headed to the library, the store and stopped in at a friend’s place just to say hi because we could. We were all in our happy places with friends our ages. Loved it!
  • McKay asked, and I acquiesced, to help make dinner. It was actually pretty fun, especially to see him enjoy pureeing spinach to “hide” in our sauce. He likes to act like such a know-it-all with kitchen gadgets and utensils! He says, "I already knowed it, Mom."
  • Easton needed some quiet time during dinner prep and happily read all the library books I'd picked out for him without a fuss. Fun to see him enjoy the fun illustrations and rhyming of Gulliver Snip and his imaginative adventure on his ship his mother calls a bath tub. Later, Easton read aloud to his dad as Ryan whipped up some divinity. McKay was in the bath and I got to snuggle Morgan. It just felt like such a nice evening scene all around in that moment.
  • I began singing to a grouchy, nap-deprived Morgan and it morphed into a really fun singing time with the kids. At one point I was reminded of a picture my mom has of me standing in front of our family couch with all my dolls and stuffed animals set before me as dutiful pupils. Morgan and McKay love the following songs: I’m taking home a baby bumblebee, Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Follow the Prophet, ABC song, Sunbeam song, and Popcorn Popping. There was time at the piano, lots of actions, and yours truly was thoroughly embarrassed to find I couldn’t remember the lines to Book of Mormon Stories! Ouch! I believe getting up and singing “Hinges” with Easton made up for it. I loved the feel of our home through it, after it.
  • Family scripture time lent itself to some actual interactive gospel discussion time with the boys! It can happen for us! Yahoo!

I feel accomplished. My house is a disaster in every room – at least two days worth. But the tone of our home this evening was simply content. I was content. With who I am and where I am. They each got some one-on-one time with me to talk and be listened to, to be snuggled and played with. I let my kids have part of me, the part of me that's uninhibited and deeply loves them to the core. Little fights and screams erupted now and then as always, but I’m enjoying the glow of an evening where I was the closest I've been in some time to the mother I want to be.

Do you ever read or listen to a bit of parenting and/or gospel-centered media? Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the gap between what you know and feel versus what you do? I think I am basking in tonight because for once, the gap was not as wide as usual. And I didn't plan it, it was who I was tonight. I wasn't perfect in all moments, but I was me. A better me.

I have recently read a little here and there about family back-to-school traditions and am awed. I told my friend today that if I were more on the ball, I would have discussed with Ryan setting our family theme for the school year from a recent quote I heard of President Monson from an address he gave in 2008:

"May we learn what we should learn, do what we should do, and be what we should be."

It's not too late!