Monday, May 25

Back In My Cave?

My world is very small and simple. I really like it this way. When I venture out of my bubble into the real world, it's sometimes disheartening. I like to follow world news and be informed until I get fed up and take a break which usually lasts anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months. It works for me, but the craving to climb out of my cave always comes around. Whether it's understanding the economic crisis, politics or international turmoil; finding interesting books or audio programs to listen to; or just catching up on various aspects of American culture -- I tend to be a feast or famine sort.

I deem it one of the blessings and curses of being able to be a stay at home mom. At my little stage in the game, I really can shut the world out pretty easily which is great for me and my little ones. But I've been thinking about it a lot in terms Easton heading off to school in the fall and what Ryan has to put up with in the working world day in and day out. I know I forget to appreciate how grinding the real world is and that my greatest job in this life is create a safe haven in my home for my family so they have the strength and perspective to stay true.

Tonight I was catching up on what family and friends are up to lately - new births, trips, day in the life blogs. I wish I was better about strengthening those relationships and staying in touch. I always have a running debate in my head - blogging is great for our family record and nice for friends and family who want to see what we're up to, but it cheats me out of extending myself by making that phone call or sending that personal email. I should really be doing both better. I should really be heading to bed so I am a functioning wife and mother tomorrow. But I have a couple other thoughts to get off my chest.

I love my husband. He took me off to Prague this weekend - the post and pics are almost done. I love how he gets me out to see stuff. I love how he lets me see people and the world my way. I have always enjoyed getting to know people and can always find something to love about each person I meet and am often defensively naive, or is it naively defensive? Anyhow, Ryan sometimes gets flustered with my blinders. I know I choose to be naive, but it makes me happier to choose to see the good in people. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone gave everybody the benefit of the doubt and didn't delve into others' motives and vices? Something I've always really loved about Ryan is he's not a gossip. He appreciates my blinders for what they are, but if he feels my blinders need to be lifted ever so slightly, he's very direct, brief, and then done. I'm grateful for this in him, especially the "done" part - it's very refreshing to me because there's no dwelling in the mire, getting bogged down in judging others when we can never know another's heart or full circumstance. Love you, Ryan!

Until tonight, I've recently avoided all the turmoil surrounding a TLC family reality show I used to enjoy watching. Ryan always had a hard time watching it and I used to defend it to no end, but man it's frustrating when he's right on the money reading people! I read a little about the controversy and had to stop after about five minutes because its ramifications were just too sad to consider. Back into my cave, says I - well, as far as American culture goes since it's usually the most harsh of all. I'm still feeding a world news and literature craving. Feel free to pass along your favorite sites that feed your soul's info quest!