Tuesday, February 10

My sister, the Cat Slayer

This is not meant to offend anyone, but it's too good a story to not share! My youngest sister, Abby, has had an interesting year and this is one of my favorite recent emails, although the huge black eye from a rough basketball game ranks high on the list as well! I got her permission to post this . . .

"About two months ago, our neighbor down the street went out of town for 4 days, and asked for me to watch and feed her cat. She kept her cat outside, and just told me to get the food from inside the house, and fill the bowl which was out on the porch. . . but the cat was not supposed to go inside.

On my first day on the job, i did as i was told and i was getting the food from the house. As i opened the front door to go out, the cat started to come in, so i freaked out and slammed the door shut. BAD IDEA! the little cat's head was on one side of the door, and the body on the other (still attached) and i didn't know what to do. There were still 3 days that i was supposed to be feeding this cat... and i had killed it on the first! EEK!

I quickly put it in a garbage bag, and kept it hidden in our garage, b/c i wasn't sure if the lady would want to bury the body. that was another bad idea. . the garage started to smell a bit after day 2, but mom and dad were completly oblivious to the whole thing.

When the lady returned, she was pretty upset with me, and get this. . . she didn't even pay me! I fed her cat for one day. . . and watched it for the other 3. . . so i should get something, right? just kidding. . . i wasn't expecting her to pay me. . . and she never even thought to offer after she had seen her 'baby' in that plastic bag. I never told mom or dad... but somebody from church squeeled on me. Blasted relief society! the word got around. . . and dad was sure proud! Basically the whole school knew about it, and i have come to be known as CAT KILLER! i guess i earned that.

Now that was just cat #1, and i promise it was an accident. i got that other one about three weeks later on my highway drive for Driver's Ed. I nailed that cat going 70 mph on the freeway, and i didn't even see it coming! to make things worse. . we were in a white car, so the remains of that cat were left in the grill of the car. .blood and all!!! GROSS! so, i guess i'm tied with dad. . we've both got two cats, and i've got an advantage. . . i'm starting young! that's 2 within a 2 month span! People keep telling me that at this rate, i'll have a dozen by the end of the year. . . but my business has slowed down a bit. . sorry to let you down. I promise they were both on accident. . but no matter what i say. . . i'm still known as the local CAT SLAYER! one of my friends made me a little "buisiness" card. . . saying" Abby Bare - Cat killer - No charge - 'if you've got a pesky feline, she's sure to get 'em!" Oh boy. . .I'll never live that one down!"