Tuesday, January 15


Wouldn't it be great if this was motherhood? All smiles and new adventures? This cute lil man is now 17 months old. Just shy of being nursery age at church and we've been counting down! He lights up our life with this grin, his snuggles and kisses, nestled into "his place" in the crook of our arm on the bed or chair.
We took a quick ski trip this past weekend. I almost didn't go because of Jake. He's teething molars right now which means he wakes up on the middle of the night crying and hates pain relievers. He's also exercising his will at every turn because he can. Being in a hotel room as a whole family with him doing this and the fact that he's such a light sleeper when out of his dark cocoon of a bedroom - well, it sounded like torture for me. And I have so many things I should be getting done.

But Morgan was so excited to finally get a chance to ski! And I didn't want her to miss it. And I love those mountains. So I packed us up and away we went. We had a good time, Morgan loved skiing. I didn't get to see her do it because they took her up the mountain since the valley below didn't have enough snow. The boys excelled in their refresher class and McKay got bumped up to Easton's class the second day. They're very happy to be "advanced."

And then there's Jake. He didn't get his regular naps while we were away. He didn't get his regular bedtime or dark cocoon. And we began paying for it Sunday night. And I got it all day Monday and today. Crying and fussing at me all day long. Tantrums where he literally is kicking and screaming on the floor. It's awesome. I can't do right by him. He doesn't like the food I make for him, meals specially planned to be easy for him to eat. He throws it or pushes it away. He doesn't want to be put down but doesn't like how I hold him. He can't stand being denied anything. By dinner time, I've been a short tempered mess and I'm ashamed but so done.

I stayed up tonight mapping out some details for upcoming things I'm coordinating and then got swept up in a few episodes of Lark Rise to Candleford. As I was getting ready for bed, Jake woke up crying. I tried to give him his ora-gel and ibuprofen but he refused. So I just rocked him, both of us staring at each other. And I cried. He's growing up. And I can't stop it.

For all the grief we're giving each other right now as our wills do battle, I'm grateful for this quiet moment tonight to hold my baby close and rock him snuggled against me. Man, I love him - teething and all!