The first morning of Spring Break!

What does spring break look like for you?

Today is our first day of spring break! Easton went in and played with Jake until they heard Ryan and me get up. The four of us snuggled and played in our bed until Morgan joined us. Jake does his own style of ninja imitation that totally cracks us up! He growls while rolling his arms in circles around themselves and then throws his arms in the air and says, "Hey!" He loves to do high fives and fist bumps too. He's such a little ham! When you're getting him something to eat or drink, he does a little man shuffle-happy dance. I've GOT to get it on camera!

Easton hurried and had his chores done by 8:30 this morning in hopes that the day was set for electronics time. He co-opted Morgan by inviting her to pick up with him. He and I have been having lots of little chats on how to be a good leader, to let others choose what they're going to clean up and encourage them rather than being bossy. It's hard, but it's fun to be learning it together.

McKay was too busy building a lego fighter jet and dressing in all black to be a ninja to even think of breakfast or chores.

When Easton came asking for electronics time, I said we'll do it from 1-3pm if chores are done. All this morning time can be used to be creative, to play, to build, to relax and just be a kid. He actually thought this was a good idea! Ha! So he started building a fort on his bed. Then Morgan wanted one too and whined and cried and bossed until I stopped to make one for her. So far, Easton has romped in the snow (yes, SNOW in almost April!), cleaned up the living room and play room and vacuumed, built his fort, played a few games of chess with McKay, and is now reading his Sonic comic books.

McKay has dabbled in cleaning his room, fought with Morgan over what her super powers can be, played himself in a game of chess, bounced and kicked a ball until I just couldn't tolerate it anymore, and is now inspecting Morgan's block building project. And now he's trying to teach her about chess. He loved watching "Searching for Bobby Fischer" last weekend!

Morgan has followed the boys around whining to be included then gone off and built her own little world of animals, cars, blocks and castle. She had to take a break to ask for a "freeze yogurt" = gogurt.

Jake has inspected the printer by poking and prodding every nook and cranny of it. Now he's climbed up into his high chair to figure out his seat belt from an unorthodox angle, but he's stuck. He's also made his inspection of the bathrooms whenever someone doesn't remember to turn off the lights and close the door. Grrr. Ditto with the kitchen and the stool - the gate to new heights and things to manipulate and destroy.

I started chores in the kitchen, trying to get the knack of this serious recycling sorting that is Germany's way of life. I started listening to more of a podcast discussion between a Bible scholar and a medieval scholar about Easter. I really love some of other Christian faiths' preparatory traditions for Easter and understanding where they come from. But then I got distracted by an email from a dear friend and just had to drop everything to email her back. I am still thinking a lot about the human drama of Christ's ability to love people where they are in a perfect way that draws them to the Divine. About their heartache at watching him suffer. About them preparing his body for the tomb. How the women came as early as they could after their Sabbath to continue preparing his body only to witness the angels and an empty tomb. To think of Mary in her grief then hearing the Savior say her name. I just love the human drama of this event. It is the greatest of all human dramas. For me, it's sacredness is only matched in my experiences giving birth and enjoying a newborn with Ryan. It's a great reason why I can't fathom being done having babies, it's just so miraculous to be a part of something so sacred. I'm dying to talk to my sister Brooks about the birth of her and John's son last weekend, little Scott Dean!

And it's only 10am. Time to get back to chores! My heads still swirling about a new eating plan Ryan and I are discussing for our family and our family history work on Ryan's German line. And Easter plans are still shaping up. And . . . no wonder my house never gets clean!

My Sunday Roller Coaster

Yesterday, I spent three hours cooking and cleaning in the kitchen yesterday with nothing really to show for it. By the end of the day it was messy all over again and I was too tired to care. Morgan's german kindergarten had a family Easter party and it wore me out, made my heart heavy for two dear friends I spent time chatting with. Ryan stayed home with Jake because he's had a fever off and on and has this cough that he can't seem to get to the bottom of. In fact, Friday night Jake coughed so hard that he emptied his tummy in my lap. It was fabulous. Nothing makes you more grateful for baths and washing machines than a lot of puke!

While I had been puttering in the kitchen, I listened to an introduction to the Thomas Jefferson Education. If you scroll halfway down the page, just under Shop TJED on the right, you'll see "Free Audio Downloads." It was really fascinating as I'm always considering the education I want for my children and how to get it. There are many things the boys' school is doing to incorporate some of this approach, but it helped me think about my role in their education which is really to inspire a desire to learn and to love learning myself. 

All week I've been trying to pin down all my thoughts and preparations for teaching Sharing Time for Primary. The quote from TJED "teachers are there to inspire, not to teach" really struck home. That's oversimplifying the message, but as it applied to my preparation, it hit home. The sharing time outline has us focus on three things: 1) state the doctrine to be taught, 2) encourage understanding (discuss feelings), and 3) encourage application (bear testimony of the principle in our life). So great!!! Today's doctrine of focus was "Because Jesus Christ was resurrected, I will be too."

Today was a real roller coaster of a day for me and I have the cryer's hangover headache to prove it. I woke up to Morgan screaming her head off in her dramatic way because she stubbed her toe. But I came storming out of bed because I thought the boys were teasing her. Angry is not a good way to start any day!

I was unsettled all morning as I tried to figure out how I was going to do Sharing Time in Primary today. This made me on edge with everyone to some degree and feel very guilty as I snapped at every turn. I planned to use the new Bible Videos and download "He Is Risen" to share with the children. But something didn't feel quite right. My intent was to help the children feel what Mary Magdalene and the others who loved Jesus felt when he died on the cross. To feel what it must have been like to carefully, respectfully honor his body as they prepared it for burial. To internalize the shock and despair of finding the stone rolled away, the tomb empty and not understand the angels words that He had risen. And to feel the awe and hope return as Mary conversed with the resurrected Savior. The video just wasn't conveying as much feeling as I wanted and letting us explore those feelings as my heart was telling me we needed to do. Yet I charged on with that video plan. Silly me.

I charged on, very ungracefully, getting us all ready to head out the door. I had told myself I needed to get to church early to set up for showing the video clip. We were five minutes from walking out the door when Morgan ran in a panic for the bathroom where she couldn't get her tights down because of her floofy dress layers. And there she peed in all her clothes, tights and shoes and I lost it. I had just called my friend to say we couldn't drive together today because I had to go early. Now I had to bath Morgan and find something else for her to wear which shouldn't be such a big deal but it was to me in the moment. Most of all I was upset at the rage I felt so prone to swing to all morning long. I tried my hardest to not direct it at her because I know that children her age can't distinguish between who they are and their behavior. If they do something bad, they feel like they are bad. But I failed, throwing my own tantrum because she knows better than to wait until the last moment to run to the bathroom. We got her all squared away as I worked to soften my heart toward this fragile gift from heaven standing naked before me being washed. I wished it was me standing naked before her, visibly humble and humbled being washed of such a bad temper. Children are such great examples of humility and being quick to forgive! Oh how I love Morgan! She threw her arms around me and all was right in her world just like that.

Then I stopped by my friend's door to see if they actually were ready because they usually are waiting on me. They were taking a family mental health day, but we had a wonderful heart to heart chat in 20 minutes which is what I love about this gal. She's investigating our church as a single mom with two children. She is brave and independent with a light about her that's aching to be fed. So we parted ways and I was so overwhelmed with a desire to share my knowledge that we are all such beloved children of God. So capable, so loved. And I cried to the first stop light. And I realized I was just going to make it to church on time with no time to set up that silly video clip. Why hadn't I listened to my heart all along?

I had packed my backup plan - the plan that felt good in my heart while the video had made sense in my head. And Sharing Time was a beautiful experience. This is only my second time doing Sharing Time but I could become an addict. To share truths of the gospel that are so dear to my heart with them in a way that invites their participation to feel the Spirit is a wonderful thing! We took that time to explore the feelings of those present at the Savior's death, burial, and resurrection. I was able to share my testimony of hope and faith in the resurrection when we will be reunited with loved ones, never to be separated again. And those children were so reverent, I felt their desire to learn, to participate, to share.

And then I was spent. The drive home was luckily very quiet. My Thai friend had sent me home with delicious egg rolls she'd made yesterday. I must get her to give me a tutorial! I would have gotten to eat them fresh yesterday, but I had written down the dinner invite for tonight. Ugh. Again, failure. Luckily, it'd been a group dinner so there were others to enjoy the fruits of her labors, but still.

Ryan had made us a great crockpot dinner and after we consumed it, we settled in for a movie. I'm so blessed to have Ryan!!! This week we've been watching inspiring movies with the kids - Thursday was Apollo 13 and Friday was October Sky (rough language) because the boys are in science units dealing with space. Tonight was Chariots of Fire. To see movies that show the joy of exploring God given gifts and talents is a great thing to watch with my family! 

At the end of this roller coaster of a day, I am grateful that tomorrow will come and let me start fresh. The house is a complete mess as it always is after everyone's been home together, but I don't mind so much. I'll putter away at it tomorrow with an interesting podcast or more "Les Miserable" audio book to get my brain rambling about. I am so very grateful for this little life of mine and the season we are in. Roller coasters and all.

Life Update

It's been a great week skyping Nancy, Lorry, Mom and Abby. Abby, this is for you my devoted blog checker! Thanks for the Skype chat so I could meet Trevor and hear the engagement story! YAHOO!!!

Us Carters are alive and kicking, no time to sit and blog but I'm so overdue. The 1200 pictures we took across 3 devices while in Marrakesh have overrun my desire to blog. It's paired down to 600 favorites now, but my poor clogged laptop has become slow trying to keep up with our life and adventures. However, it's high time I document these cute kids, husband and life I've been blessed with!

The reason for this post. Everyone had just left for school/work this morning and I found him doing this. 19 months today, my sweet boy! Jake is bent on growing up too quickly. He really needs to stop it ASAP!

And yesterday I got my meager crafty side out to satiate Morgan's hunger for crafting. While we made eggs for a garland with ripped paper, glue, paint and glitter glue, Jake ate his lunch. I looked up to see the disaster that is his way of eating right now. (Have I written about my white boards on here yet? I'm in love with them. Our behavior merit system is on the left, Easton's family tree from the Blue and Gold that a very talented lady in my ward drew for it, my family picture that should be framed but til then it will hang here because it makes me happy, and my Primary theme board.)

But back to Jake, this is what he looks like after every meal. He's back to exploring his food with less eating involved. It's tortuous to me, but it is a phase like all others and will pass. Look at his face and hand! Covered in nutella and peanut butter. He eats bananas like he's doing medieval exploratory surgery. You can't even see all the rest of the sandwich pieces that he threw to the floor. That he actually ate anything is debatable. Yogurt is more of a face cream lather-it-on event than a snack.

This next one was taken earlier this winter. Oh how I love smooching on a clean baby all snuggled into a towel in my arms!!!

Walking Jake in to bed is one of my savored daily experiences. I hold him close while I let him turn the light switch off and then he wants to close the door. I turn on his sound machine and then we sway and snuggle as he folds his arms between us and lays his head on my shoulder. He gives a series of face smashing kisses and then the fingers are in his mouth. Then he's leaning toward the bed to be laid down. That's our little routine. Sometimes he is less than happy about it, but in the end there are those kisses! Will I ever get over baby hunger? 

Easton, my growing man child. At the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby, Easton took 3rd in his pack and 8th overall. He was beaming! McKay loved that trophy of Easton's! He said, "The trophy is like the great ring of power [Lord of the Rings]. I just can't put it down!" (Some day I might sew Easton's badges and stuff on. Or I might not. I'd rather teach him to do it but when I attempted by hand, I swore that strategy off for life. OUCH!) 

Look at the men in my life! Oh how I love them!!!

Easton's recent project on Einstein gave us the opportunity to chat about our family's connections to Einstein's work. Ryan's American grandfather married a gal from Berlin he'd met on his German mission. He studied organic chemistry at the same university in the late 1920s where Einstein and his associates were working to split the atom. Ryan's grandparents moved to New Jersey before the Nazis rose to power in Germany just like Einstein did. My grandfathers served in WWII in the Pacific and European theaters. My Grandpa Bob was a pilot training and waiting in Saigon for orders and the possible invasion of Japan when the atom bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki ending the war. The plutonium enriched for the Fat Man bomb was made in the Manhattan Project town that I later grew up in. The subsequent division of Berlin and Europe among the victors landed Ryan's great grandparents behind what would become the Wall and Iron Curtain. Our parents and Ryan and I were raised in the Cold War. My grandfathers and dad worked in the Hanford area while raising their families and now it's in the news for the hazardous leaks. My boys found this all very interesting! And now we live in Germany and feel the urgency to find these long lost cousins.

Writing this update, I realize I don't have as many pictures of McKay. He's a busy little bee around here. He's a Lego building, paper airplane flying, ball bouncing/kicking/hoop shooting lover of life! He refused to get out of bed yesterday because it was a half day at school. He wanted it to be a full day so he could eat lunch with his friends and play at break.

See McKay's dance moves here, he's the skeleton in front. http://youtu.be/uEYmgdMe9wU He loved learning a dance to that silly world sensation "Gangnum Style" with his class. McKay's reading and writing are really coming along. I love his self-confidence and his love of science and building things. Between him and Easton's science interest, we're going to be introducing them to the great movies like "October Sky" and "Apollo 13" very soon. Any other recommendations? It's so fun to have these conversations now with pretty eager learners!

 Let's talk about this little lady. She has such a big personality and I love her to pieces! Sleeping in style.

Getting her craft on yesterday, singing little songs in her "German".

Then there's Morgan and the boys Tuesday night staving off bedtime. She said, "I'm Mary and the boys are my ninjas." Ha!!! They were so funny! Until I saw the explosion that was their bedroom! Best feature of Morgan's scarf getup was the scotch tape across her chin to hold the scarf in place. She's into throwing a hip out and posing with some attitude lately. She kills me!

Rach, me, and Jocelyn
at Berlin's Gendamenmarkt Fassbender & Rausch Chocolaterie

You know those best friends that come along in life? Distance and time are irrelevant when you're together? That's me and Rach. She moved to the Tri-Cities the end of our junior year of high school and we were fast friends. We got to room together for a year+ at BYU. We keeps tabs from a distance, but we recently got to meet up in Berlin. Oh what a great time reconnecting!!!

The last time I took a trip on my own was Rach's MBA graduation when I was very pregnant with McKay in 2005. The last time I saw Rach was on her Thanksgiving visit in 2008 before we moved here. She reluctantly admitted she was dating this great guy who'd been dating her for almost a year I think. Oh she cracks me up! Hearing her first descriptions of him, I knew he was perfect for her. It is so wonderful to see her so happy! After a long rough go of trying to grow their family, she and Tony are expecting their first little boy this summer!!! Rach's friend, Jocelyn, now another kindred spirit of mine, is moving to Berlin next month with a job for eBay from Bountiful. Jocelyn and Rach were in Berlin for two weeks - the first week was for apartment hunting and then Jocelyn had a full week of meetings with her new team. I'm so excited for her adventure here and that hopefully we'll get to see a lot of her! We saw a handful of sites, ate great food, and just enjoyed a leisure pace of a weekend in all the greatness that is Berlin. I love that city!!! And the Berlin ward we visited gave us the warmest welcome I've ever received in any ward! What a great place to be!

This weekend trip for me was such a great reminder of who I am on my own, stripped of all the things that consume my day to day. It was liberating and re-centering for me. I love my life and my dear husband who takes such good care of our family and me. Each thing we girls enjoyed, I was wishing Ryan was there to share in fun conversations, food and sights. It was the only detraction from my great weekend beyond it passing to quickly! I really love to travel with Ryan! Unfortunately, the moment I was home I had a ward event to pull off the next day and wasn't so good at communicating my gratitude and utter love for him. Ryan, I totally dig your trash! ;)

Ryan and Jake's morning snuggle routine with Jake hollering "Teez!" 

Ryan is busy trying to kick a lingering bad cold to the curb. He's in the final ramp up of training for the Paris Marathon the first weekend of April. I'm so proud of him! He recently shaved his beard and then we all missed it so it's back. He's ever busy checking on potential trip destinations and travel details. I take this effort of his for granted far too often. His efforts enrich my life monthly! He and I are currently absorbed in a family history project trying to figure out how to track down his German cousins. It's very exciting!

Medieval Royal Cub Scout Blue & Gold Banquet

I was put in charge of the cub scout ward Blue & Gold banquet. Here's the collaborative invitation that turned out really!

We ate our meal with our hands medieval style with our hands - roasted chicken legs, potato wedges, rolls, fruit and veggie trays and dips with cupcakes at the end. The program consisted of the cub scouts singing "As Zion's Youth in Latter Days" standing behind the shields of faith they had painted in previous den meetings. That was followed by remarks about putting on the armor of God. Rank advancements were awarded, the service of leaders and volunteers were acknowledged. The regional scout representative pitched Friends of Scouting with a great story of how scouting has been a great home for her autistic son.

The four generation family tree kids and their families had to fill out to participate in the Knights' Tournament.
Courtesy of our talented Relief Society President, Heidi Strong! She printed it on golden parchment looking card stock. I am so in love with this!!!

Hands down, the kids' favorite part was the Knight's tournament. The scout leaders put together an elaborate obstacle course but the boys had to first submit their four generation family tree to "prove their royal lineage." You should have seen the boys' faces as they saw the final challenge - jousting! This course totally reminded me of my Dad doing this sort of thing for his scouts!