Got peace?

Last week held a culmination and roller coaster of poignant thoughts for me.

Earlier in the week Ryan and I watched Food, Inc. and Collapse. Ryan and I really enjoyed discussing the ideas put forth and how they relate to our family's position. Peak oil theory, the industrialization of our food production from seed to the dinner table, economic and energy policies, war and why it is waged, the loss of connection many of us have with the land and its bounty . . . contrasted with what modern prophets have counseled.

We've been mulling over job offers on three continents. So many factors to consider.

We coached our first soccer games of the season last Saturday, September 11. We're coaching Easton's 6-7 yr old team and McKay's 3-5 yr old team. A ceremonial moment of silence for the victims and the loved ones they left behind was held at the beginning of every game that day here.

That evening, Ryan had been asked to participate in a missionary fireside. It was beautiful and well thought out. Each speaker spoke briefly on one assigned principle of the restored gospel and was followed by a beautiful musical number by a youth choir or gifted individuals. It was simple and the message was clear. With the upheaval of events and thoughts over the week, I was so grateful to be reminded of the great gift we have to be members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Afterward, we couldn't tear ourselves away from 9-11 documentaries about the victims' last moments as told through taped phone calls, messages and their families.

I prepared my lesson and we were covering Isaiah on Sunday, September 12, 2010. Isaiah was a prophet for his day and the most quoted prophet for his prophecies of the most important events in humankind, the birth and second coming of our Savior. It was very interesting giving this lesson on September 12. As an attention activity, it asked for a newspaper's headlines to be shown and discussed with the class. The only newspapers in my possession were a copy of the Washington Post and USA Today from September 12, 2001.

My class was made up of 9-11 year old girls that day and they were fascinated by this paper. After all, they were either not yet born or just babies then! We talked of King Hezekiah, who he was and how he prepared himself and his kingdom both temporally and spiritually for the invading Assyrians. All around him, his allies were falling to the invaders. Yet he was a man of God in a time when most were not and as such, he sought out the prophet's counsel and he and his people were saved. I found this message so timely.

I loved pulling out my old Jerusalem textbooks, reading about Sennacherib's empire, his engraved triumphal mural about the seige of Lachish at his palace in Ninevah, and Hezekiah's tunnel. And yet all those fun facts were not what I was meant to share with my class. It was very clear to me.

Instead, following the Spirit, I briefly related where I was on 9-11-01 and the scene of fear and foreboding at the Pentagon that day and in the weeks that followed. I told them how I was never more anxious for General Conference that October, to hear what the prophets and apostles of our day would say to us. I remembered and related the peace and comfort of their words and testified that Christ's Second Coming which we discussed would be an exciting time if we followed the prophets, knew and studied their words and kept the commandments.

There is so much to fear these days at every turn, headlines are full of it. But as Isaiah 54 prophesied:

10 For the ^amountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the ^bcovenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

13 And all thy ^achildren shall be ^btaught of the Lord; and great shall be the ^cpeace of thy children.

14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

17 ¶ No ^aweapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every ^btongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the ^cservants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

Got Wind?

When we got into the van after church today it was a little warm from sitting in the sun. From the back, Easton hollered, "Dad, make wind!" As in, "Roll down the windows, it's hot in here!" He's still pretty innocent.

But Ryan and I shared a quick laugh before explaining what "making wind" could also mean. Oh boy! Easton laughed his head off for the next ten minutes! It's the gift that keeps on giving today. Nothin' better than seeing your kid throwing his head back for a good gut laugh!

Easton crossed another childhood milestone this past month. He's begun losing teeth. The first one was a casualty of rough housing in the bath. McKay bopped Easton in the face and it really loosened up an already wiggly tooth. Easton was a bit panicky, we all know that uncomfortable really loose tooth feel. Ryan told Easton he needed to take a look and then just plucked it out! Easton's face perfectly captures how he felt.

The boys are now in agreement that the tooth fairy is a cool dude.

Tonight at dinner, Easton's fork hit another loose bottom tooth in front. This time Ryan just asked if he could take it out. We were all surprised that Easton thought that was a good idea. Still a little alarmed, he was much less scared by it.

McKay was dying to be the one to put the tooth under the pillow for the tooth fairy. I overheard some covert negotiations about splitting the tooth fairy proceeds. McKay's no dummy! He remembers that last time Easton was able to buy his brother a piece of candy too.

Be-ing

It just hit me. Today I was the mom I want to be.

I'll have to do a first day of school post another time when I've got the obligatory pictures. I'm excited for them, but not excited enough to walk out to Ryan's car to find the camera, upload, sort, write and post on that event now.

So what made today so wonderful?

• Kids were on time for school with healthy food in their tummies and good sack lunches. And Easton had his schultuete and I was so excited for him! That's a German tradition I may decide to keep although next time I won't listen to the parent handbook and I'll load it with treats!
• Morgan got cute pigtails with bows today and was adored by most everyone who saw her. I know I got a kick out of watching her all dolled up, but I hadn’t expected to cause grins on others’ faces too. What a treat!


• After early release, we headed to the library, the store and stopped in at a friend’s place just to say hi because we could. We were all in our happy places with friends our ages. Loved it!
• McKay asked, and I acquiesced, to help make dinner. It was actually pretty fun, especially to see him enjoy pureeing spinach to “hide” in our sauce. He likes to act like such a know-it-all with kitchen gadgets and utensils! He says, "I already knowed it, Mom."
• Easton needed some quiet time during dinner prep and happily read all the library books I'd picked out for him without a fuss. Fun to see him enjoy the fun illustrations and rhyming of Gulliver Snip and his imaginative adventure on his ship his mother calls a bath tub. Later, Easton read aloud to his dad as Ryan whipped up some divinity. McKay was in the bath and I got to snuggle Morgan. It just felt like such a nice evening scene all around in that moment.
• I began singing to a grouchy, nap-deprived Morgan and it morphed into a really fun singing time with the kids. At one point I was reminded of a picture my mom has of me standing in front of our family couch with all my dolls and stuffed animals set before me as dutiful pupils. Morgan and McKay love the following songs: I’m taking home a baby bumblebee, Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Follow the Prophet, ABC song, Sunbeam song, and Popcorn Popping. There was time at the piano, lots of actions, and yours truly was thoroughly embarrassed to find I couldn’t remember the lines to Book of Mormon Stories! Ouch! I believe getting up and singing “Hinges” with Easton made up for it. I loved the feel of our home through it, after it.
• Family scripture time lent itself to some actual interactive gospel discussion time with the boys! It can happen for us! Yahoo!

I feel accomplished. My house is a disaster in every room – at least two days worth. But the tone of our home this evening was simply content. I was content. With who I am and where I am. They each got some one-on-one time with me to talk and be listened to, to be snuggled and played with. I let my kids have part of me, the part of me that's uninhibited and deeply loves them to the core. Little fights and screams erupted now and then as always, but I’m enjoying the glow of an evening where I was the closest I've been in some time to the mother I want to be.

Do you ever read or listen to a bit of parenting and/or gospel-centered media? Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the gap between what you know and feel versus what you do? I think I am basking in tonight because for once, the gap was not as wide as usual. And I didn't plan it, it was who I was tonight. I wasn't perfect in all moments, but I was me. A better me.

I have recently read a little here and there about family back-to-school traditions and am awed. I told my friend today that if I were more on the ball, I would have discussed with Ryan setting our family theme for the school year from a recent quote I heard of President Monson from an address he gave in 2008:

"May we learn what we should learn, do what we should do, and be what we should be."

It's not too late!